First, the seriousness of this situation cannot be overstated.

In my experience, financial infidelity is more destructive and painful to a marriage than sexual affairs because, it not only involves betrayal, but also criminal activity.

In addition, it is the identity theft no one talks about.  Can you imagine having your identity stolen by the person you sleep in the same bed with??  Why you ask?  Oh yeah, because you signed a marriage license.

Finally, and let me be crystal clear, if your spouse is forging your signature, he/she intends on taking you down with him/her.  It is called fraud, it is a felony and a jail-able offense.  Game over.

 

My life today is a complete 180 compared to where I was at that time.  I recall sleeping on a mattress on the floor of my new apartment, surrounded  by boxes and thinking, “I haven’t done anything wrong and here I am, all alone, sleeping on the floor.”  I was grateful I had been pulled from death and safe but in the process, everything had been taken from me.

Never in a million years did I think myself and my children would be thrust into the injustices of Family Court, such as it exists today.  I am actively campaigning for an attorney to unseat  a corrupt incumbent judge who meted out the decision to give my ex domicile custody, leaving me and my children at the mercy of their father’s cluster fuck.  In the process, I find myself fighting for justice for all abused children and their mothers.  I am awe struck and humbled by the opportunity.

In part, I have the assholes to thank for this.  You know, it is important to thank the assholes. Without them I, and those who fight the good fight with me, would not have the chance to liberate a myriad of lives.

Today I live with a beautiful man in our lovely home in the country where I am loved and appreciated everyday.  There is peace here.  I have seized my life and the Universe has returned everything that was removed and given me even more.  The only thing missing is my children.  In time, they will be in my life.

I have met so many wonderful people, a number of them are my friends.  The support we share is a tangible connection.  Step by step and day by day, I have built a wonderful life.

 

Impossible you say?  Not when one of the associate pastors hands over his wife’s recent multi-million dollar inheritance without her permission.  That’s right.  Another case of financial infidelity.  SFOJ church has no intention of giving back the money to this woman.  No surprises here.  For this reason, a huge lawsuit against SFOJ church has been filed.  This is NOT just gossip and speculation.  This is information straight from an attorney.

I still receive mail from SFOJ, approximately one letter per year.  I have a change of address and they have managed to update their files without my assistance. (Oh yeah, they are my family. Sigh.)  I have saved the letters.

Lets turn the calendar back to April, 2013.  In this particular letter we are told SFOJ church has collected over $5,000,000 towards the $8.5 million dollar “bank required need” in order to move into their new mega-church building.  That means by October, 2014 (18 months) they acquired another $5,000,000.  Pastor Rich calls it a miracle.  I wonder what the woman who had her inheritance stolen from her calls it?

Apparently, they still need and are asking for over $3,000,000 more.  Jesus.

“They want to get my gold on the ceiling, I ain’t blind, it’s just a matter of time before ya steal it.  It’s alright, ain’t no gun in my house.” ~ The Black Keys

Short answer is: Yes.

Because of the people in my life who love, value and appreciate me, I can honestly say I am validated in all respects.  Did it happen right away?  The validation did begin right away.  As soon as I let people in on what was happening to me, I  immediately felt a sense of authentication.  I believe there is a vibration that recognizes truth.  It resonates inside every human being.

In this age of relativism (not a fan), we often hear the phrase “my truth” or “your truth”.  Truth and experience are not synonyms.  Look it up.

Make no mistake, you may have your experience and I may have my experience but there is only one truth.   

The old adage taken from Ecclesiastes, “there is nothing new under the sun”, certainly holds true for financial infidelity.  However, talking with my attorney, I know financial infidelity is occurring at a high frequency.  After reading the book “The Sociopath Next Door.”, I came to understand that the unconscionable behaviors of greed and self-aggrandizing are as much nature as nurture.

For example, I learned that America has the highest percentage of sociopaths in the world.  Americans tend to value independence, wealth and climbing the ladder of success.  When combined with ethical behavior, such as, honesty, humility and generosity, these attributes are no problem in a culture.  The problem is when people decide to sell their souls and destroy whomever is in their path in order to a achieve their goals of wealth and success.

In contrast, Asia has a very low percentage of sociopaths.  It is a culture which fosters community.  For example, taking care of their elderly is a high priority.  If someone is born without a conscious in Asia, they will mimic the behaviors that are modeled in their community.  Therefore, if a sociopath in Asia lacks the mental check and feelings of compassion for their older family members, they are more likely to act out the behaviors modeled for them, in order to conform.  The pressure to conform is an effective behavior modification.

Perhaps we do not hear about financial infidelity because of the devastation.  I do not know how many people could have survived what I endured, much less write a book about it.  For this reason, it became imperative that I use my experience and my book as a platform to help others who may be feeling too defeated to tell their story.

I want to see you be brave.

During the time I was documenting, each day, the happenings of the divorce, I used my iPad as a diary.  I would send all my documentation to my attorney.  I realized I could put these details to good use and write a book about my experience.

 

Everyone is very sympathetic.

The short answer is: Yes and No.

Initially, my extended family were very supportive.  However, you have to be prepared for the fall out which may not come until months later.  Divorce heavily affects everyone in a family.  It’s  very much like the stages of grief.  Something has died.  I write about the affects on my extended family in F.I.F.I.

Three years out, I can see signs that the shock and awe of my divorce are in fact diminishing for them.

 

It absolutely can and does.  Currently, in the campaign I am actively volunteering in for Family Court Judge in St. Tammany, we are uploading on Facebook videos of  the candidates speaking in public forums.  In addition, social media helps bring a spotlight to those issues that set the candidates apart, including nefarious activity.   We have the ability to “show” not just “tell”.

 

A friend and investor told me, “At one time I could always recommend Met Life.  Now the stock market is so volatile , I cannot even say that it is rock solid.”  ~2013

At that point, it became crystal clear.   I decided my best investment was my book and myself.