The old adage taken from Ecclesiastes, “there is nothing new under the sun”, certainly holds true for financial infidelity.  However, talking with my attorney, I know financial infidelity is occurring at a high frequency.  After reading the book “The Sociopath Next Door.”, I came to understand that the unconscionable behaviors of greed and self-aggrandizing are as much nature as nurture.

For example, I learned that America has the highest percentage of sociopaths in the world.  Americans tend to value independence, wealth and climbing the ladder of success.  When combined with ethical behavior, such as, honesty, humility and generosity, these attributes are no problem in a culture.  The problem is when people decide to sell their souls and destroy whomever is in their path in order to a achieve their goals of wealth and success.

In contrast, Asia has a very low percentage of sociopaths.  It is a culture which fosters community.  For example, taking care of their elderly is a high priority.  If someone is born without a conscious in Asia, they will mimic the behaviors that are modeled in their community.  Therefore, if a sociopath in Asia lacks the mental check and feelings of compassion for their older family members, they are more likely to act out the behaviors modeled for them, in order to conform.  The pressure to conform is an effective behavior modification.

Perhaps we do not hear about financial infidelity because of the devastation.  I do not know how many people could have survived what I endured, much less write a book about it.  For this reason, it became imperative that I use my experience and my book as a platform to help others who may be feeling too defeated to tell their story.

I want to see you be brave.

During the time I was documenting, each day, the happenings of the divorce, I used my iPad as a diary.  I would send all my documentation to my attorney.  I realized I could put these details to good use and write a book about my experience.

 

Everyone is very sympathetic.

The short answer is: Yes and No.

Initially, my extended family were very supportive.  However, you have to be prepared for the fall out which may not come until months later.  Divorce heavily affects everyone in a family.  It’s  very much like the stages of grief.  Something has died.  I write about the affects on my extended family in F.I.F.I.

Three years out, I can see signs that the shock and awe of my divorce are in fact diminishing for them.

 

It absolutely can and does.  Currently, in the campaign I am actively volunteering in for Family Court Judge in St. Tammany, we are uploading on Facebook videos of  the candidates speaking in public forums.  In addition, social media helps bring a spotlight to those issues that set the candidates apart, including nefarious activity.   We have the ability to “show” not just “tell”.

 

A friend and investor told me, “At one time I could always recommend Met Life.  Now the stock market is so volatile , I cannot even say that it is rock solid.”  ~2013

At that point, it became crystal clear.   I decided my best investment was my book and myself.

The short answer is: Yes.

My twenty-six year old daughter already works at his law office.  I have let her know, under no uncertain terms, that this is an unscrupulous situation filled with deceit.  It is terrifying to think about really.  All I can do is sound the alarm.

 

I am not.  My ex paid alimony for about a year and then stopped.  Again, he would have loved for me to bring him to court and dwindle my funds.  Frankly, I’m not invested in being the recipient of his ill gotten gains.  If the money was important to me, I would have stayed in the marriage.  What I want, is justice.

The short answer is: No.

Three years after the divorce, my ex has multiple lawsuits against him for fraud and malpractice in Louisiana.  Apparently deals have been made.  He owes them millions.

I’m guessing the reason is the insurance companies can’t get their money if he’s in jail.

So far, $50,000.00.  The community property is not settled.  My ex refuses to cooperate.  He would love nothing more than for me to spend more money on court costs.  Being an attorney, it costs him nothing.

My attorney has been very good at making sure I am not embroiled in vain attempts, seeking  justice.