A friend and investor told me, “At one time I could always recommend Met Life.  Now the stock market is so volatile , I cannot even say that it is rock solid.”  ~2013

At that point, it became crystal clear.   I decided my best investment was my book and myself.

The short answer is: Yes.

My twenty-six year old daughter already works at his law office.  I have let her know, under no uncertain terms, that this is an unscrupulous situation filled with deceit.  It is terrifying to think about really.  All I can do is sound the alarm.

 

I am not.  My ex paid alimony for about a year and then stopped.  Again, he would have loved for me to bring him to court and dwindle my funds.  Frankly, I’m not invested in being the recipient of his ill gotten gains.  If the money was important to me, I would have stayed in the marriage.  What I want, is justice.

The short answer is: No.

Three years after the divorce, my ex has multiple lawsuits against him for fraud and malpractice in Louisiana.  Apparently deals have been made.  He owes them millions.

I’m guessing the reason is the insurance companies can’t get their money if he’s in jail.

So far, $50,000.00.  The community property is not settled.  My ex refuses to cooperate.  He would love nothing more than for me to spend more money on court costs.  Being an attorney, it costs him nothing.

My attorney has been very good at making sure I am not embroiled in vain attempts, seeking  justice.

No, but I was fortunate.  I’m quite sure my ex (who is an attorney) was hoping I could not find someone to represent me.  Attorneys, as a general rule, do not like to go against another attorney.

The first lawyer I met with was a female and bowed out after speaking with my then husband over the phone.  He went on for a 20 minute tirade, in which she took copious notes.  When she hung up, she looked at me and said, “He is going to make this a nasty divorce that will cost you tens of thousands of dollars.”   She did however give me a good referral.  My new attorney stayed by my side even when I could not pay him.

Short answer is:  Maybe.

I saw a priest who went public on Facebook about his experience with a fellow priest who targeted him and tried to destroy his priesthood.  I told him my story.  He suggested I read the book, “The Sociopath Next Door.”  It is written by psychologist Martha Stout, PhD, who wanted to help others avoid the devastation of being the target of a sociopath.  She cited a study where 1:25 Americans are considered a sociopath.  They are not necessarily murderers but the path of destruction they leave in their wake is no less grim.

You can google the characteristics of a sociopath and decide if  your partner/ex/spouse has these attributes.

 

I would call it faith.  What does that mean??  For me, it means I had walked through many difficult circumstances in my life and I came out okay.  I talk about these situations in my book FIFI.  I have a higher power who is with me.  I believe that there is always a better road, light at the end of the tunnel, and a net to catch me.  Knowing this gives me courage.

I know the future is uncertain but what I have come to realize is that nothing is certain.  All we have to do is take it one day at a time.

The corrupt judge I had, had a record of the following activities:

1. She takes sides in a case based on her relationships with the attorneys.

2. Off the record “conferences” without the parties present.

3. Coercive deals

4. Jailing parents

5. Won’t hear from children

6. Severs children from good parents.

7. Doesn’t allow evidence or evidentiary hearings.

8. Seals records so that parties can’t access them

9. Has ex parte communications with attorneys and issues orders without giving the other party a chance to respond.

Will Ferrell King of Bacchus 2012

I text them, post public on FB and Twitter.  There is so much social media that even when my son and daughter were suddenly off FB(I believe forced off by their father and my attorney concurs), I could still reach out.

Keep up with their school events.  Plan to be there for awards.  Meet their teachers.  If you have 50-50 custody, the school has to keep you updated on their grades and activities.  It is the law.

I have started writing each one of my children a letter each week.  I put their name on the envelope, my address and have it mailed from the post office or place of business.  It comes to my mailbox, postmarked.  I plan to save the letters and wrap them in a ribbon.  One day I will present the collection of letters.

In the letter I write what is in my heart for each child individually.  I write what I am doing that week.  This helps me enormously.  I feel connected and a sense of relief, along with hope that one day they will know I was always thinking of them.

When the letters arrive in my mailbox I feel like I have made a great leap in the healing process of me and my children.  It is a concrete, pro-active task. 🙂