Chances are high that indeed your extended family has seen a devious side but are hesitant to speak about it to you.  You may seem happy to them or there may be dependents,such as children.  No one wants to rock the boat.  However if asked, they may tell you and if they see you are in trouble, they will be all the more inclined.  In my experience, this is exactly what happened.  It seemed like a dam broke when I talked about my circumstances.  Let people in.  You will be surprised how much they have to tell you.